I am mentioned
Laksh at
Musings once again presented me with an award, what a great honor. I am so pleased to hear her say that my space “encourages group communication and serve as a hang out place"! Thank you, Laksh.
Now comes my turn, and would like to pass this on to the list of family and friends I have on my sidebar. This list gets updated from time to time, but each one present is well worth visiting and truly great tension relieving spaces...so visit, read and respond at your leisure, there's nothing to lose, only gain -so why not take a chance?
And like the
last time I mentioned, there are many of you who read and comment but do not own a blog, not yet anyway. I believe each one of you deserve this award and hope this is incentive enough to start your own blog. So come on, get one going ASAP. I will be the first in line to read.
See you all next week :) Bye bye :)
Playing Catch
“Amma, catch it”, says Meera as she smiles and runs away. She actually means “Catch me”. I pretend she is too fast for me as I drag my step and waddle after her. She screams and giggles as I trap her finally and exclaim “Pidichhe” aka “Caught you” :).
Meera plays catch almost every evening. Sometimes with me, most times with her Dad. The house rocks as Manu runs, with Meera chasing fast on his track. But their laughter at the end of the game is music to my ears. Then there’s ‘hide and seek’, Meera’s favorite, when father and daughter teams up to seek mom and vice versa. Meera has yet to follow the concept of hiding and not giving herself away, hence the teaming up. Though she has learnt the art of omission as she counts one, two, three, five, eight and ten. :)
Oh she knows her numbers, just not during game-time. Wow, she is growing up on me too fast!Happy long weekend, Everyone. Enjoy the break, I know I will. See you Tuesday if not before then. And oh, be good :)
MR's Just For Kix
A dear friend of mine started a
blog recently. I wanted to
link my readers to her
blog, as you will find plenty of interesting thoughts scribbled on her space. Be sure to visit her and drop your mark. MR & I go way back, too long to count the years, a friendship that saw plenty of smiles and some tears too. We are a year apart by age and for the same reason we moved in different circles on a day-today basis. But we always got together at the end of the day to share our stories and trade secrets.
Most of our lives miles separated us, but when we got together the years vanished. It was always like time froze from the time we last met till the moment we got together again. We talked for hours and still did not, could not finish a conversation. There was always more to discuss and dissect. Clothes, books, movies even crushes got detailed in plenty. :)
Letters and later emails bonded our friendship esp. when we were apart, and then face-to-face conversations filled in the gaps. Catching up was fun as incidents got recounted and laughter shared. It is nearing four years since we last met, I have no clue when we would meet again, and I am not worried. Distance was never an issue with us, though these days I find myself wishing that we were living closer so that our kids could bond like us. I am sure you know what I am talking about. But I can’t have it all, can I? :)
Follow this
link or any of the above links for MR’s
Just For Kix . You should be able to reach her under Family and Friends when I update it before the end of the week. Check her out.
Regulations
We just received a notification at work that American Airlines will be charging passengers fifteen dollars for the first bag checked in, on all domestic flights. Most airlines are already charging for the second piece of checked in luggage, now this. What next? Soon the carry-on will require a charge too. As such the security checks are most annoying at airports these days. They delay the whole travel process and in the end are they foolproof? Not by a long shot.
As such air-travel can be troublesome with peanut snacks that cost ridiculous prices to toiletries that fit a teeny-weeny zip lock bag. Now with charges on checked-in luggage, people will start opting for other modes of transportation even if it means longer travel-time. After all, like the notice at work mentioned, more airlines will follow through this policy and security check-ins would go on forever.
To be honest I don’t mind, as I never liked flying in the first place. Trains would get my vote any day, if only they offered more services, may be they will now.
A Face
"His face looks familiar, where I have seen it before?" How often does such a thought cross your mind? Pretty frequently in my case! These last few days, a new colleague's face kept prodding my mind trying to uncover a long lost memory, unmasking a long forgotten face, that of a dear friend. It took awhile, over a week before my brain solved the mystery. And to be honest, I was amazed. His smile, his mannerisms, even his build reminded me so much of another- that they could almost be twins separated before birth. Yet, each person is unaware of the other's existence and as far apart as two people could ever be...! Life is strange in a bizzare sort of way, don't you think?
Patience
They say ‘patience’ is a virtue, how I wish I had inherited it. I read a story to Meera over the weekend whose moral still resonates in my mind. Having the patience to wait for something, makes the wait worthwhile. Having patience enables us to rethink a situation and deal with it better. Having patience is a winning streak, the secret behind every victory. Meera requires to learn patience like every child. As a parent I need to lead by example for her to follow and understand. Quite a learning curve for me as I am really behind in the ‘patience’ department. Sometimes being a role model is tough but one inherits this post the second one signs up for parenthood, so I guess I should shut up and change my ways!
My Commute
I took up a new job recently and I am slowly learning the ropes as they say. Blending has been easy, I love the new environment. But the commute is a bummer, you see I had got used to twenty minutes of travel time. Now that it is a little more, I have to reprogram my brain to get adjusted.
Like Shy advised, I should probably find some ‘me’ time instead of cursing the slow traffic door to door. The distance is minimal but seems like the entire world works in my corner. And to think I didn’t know of its existence until recently is amazing. I was living in my own pond all this time.
Friday is here and my mood has lightened a bit, so here I am earlier than usual after a long time, making a post. Hope all is well in your worlds, enjoy the weekend and if you have a small commute, thank God for the blessing.
Thursday Bitching
Guys, watch out! A girly topic to follow shortly.
You guessed it, PMS! For those blokes who dare to read further, consider yourself lucky that you don’t have to go through with it every month. I was emotionally drained yesterday, physically in pain, a walking - ticking time bomb these past couple of days. Today I KNOW why. Isn’t it surprising that I have been a woman most my life and yet I forget the reason why I have this urge to scream and rant, and walk an electric line once a month, every month? Thank God for Menopause, though I am not sure if I will enjoy getting there. Aren't I bitchy today? Excuse my language, not long before the peaceful weekend. I can't wait.
Tuesday Mumble
I woke up,
finished the morning chores,
hit the roads at seven, returned late,
entertained and now am late for bed!
Few more hours and time to wake up again...
Lord help me!
Hey Hey
no post today
i wish to say-
'hello, good day'
do accept this pay!
guests to stay
on my toes all day-
at the end of this, may
dreams carry me away.
Chik Flik
"I'm Just a Girl, Standing in front of a Boy, Asking Him to love Her."
A little cheesy you think? Maybe, I don't deny it. But I love this romance betweeen Anna Scott & Will Thacker. I caught
Notting Hill first when it came out in '99. One I watched with friends in a theater in the little town of Aberystwyth. One I came out with sighs and a sweet feeling deep in my heart. Since then I have watched it a thousand times, well, maybe not a thousand but several times. And no I don't intentionally sit down to watch it over and over again. Every time I catch a scene I am stuck, I flop down to watch more. The songs, the lines, oh so romantic! And funny!
Anyone join the club?
Freeze
I can't believe it is already Friday! Time flew for me this week, when I did not want it to.
slow down,
please slow down
just once, stand still-
my precious time,
stand still!
I wish I could just hold on to moments that keep slipping no matter how hard I try.
elusive time,
please stop running
just once, surrender-
my elusive time,
do surrender!
Hope your week was as good as mine, have a wonderful weekend, catch you monday. Stay safe.
Meow
“Cat, come here” cried Meera, as the kitten on her lap scrambled away after a few strokes. This was the scene that I witnessed when I went to pick Meera from the daycare this evening. They had three little visitors in their classroom today, three soft-grey fur balls, tiny cute kittens. The children were so fascinated. The kittens equally so! It was interesting to stand back and watch.
Meera adores animals, yeah I know,
what I feared might just come true! But I am not getting her anything, she can pet and fondle all the neighborhood pets as much as she wants, there’s no way I am getting a permanent one not until I can afford a sitter as well, that means winning the lottery and you know how probable that would be.
So the least I could do was let her play with the kittens until the teacher put them away. As I was strapping her into the car she goes “Amma school, Meera like it!”
Satisfaction
We rarely entertain on weekdays. But today was an exception. One of our guests was all set to fly out of the country and settle elsewhere over the weekend and he was free only today. It was a beautiful day to dine outside on the deck and bet you we did! It felt wonderful to see the guests eat with relish and when they complimented my cooking, it was genuine. For the first time in my life, I understood what Ammomma, my grandma meant when she said she likes to see people eat and enjoy the food that they eat. It is very fulfilling even without me taking a single morsel! Satisfaction now has new meanings in my dictionary.
Magic
By now most of you know how much I hate cooking, but it is one chore I can’t seem to escape no matter what. I just have to put up with it for the rest of my life, unless I win the lottery and that’s as farfetched as changing the past. SOOO…I am gonna quit moaning about it and tell you the real reason for this lengthy blabber.
Well last weekend when we were out shopping I bought myself a knife, eh, stop thinking murder, well in a way it is, murder of veggies I mean. You must be thinking what is exciting about a silly knife, well, let me give you a little history, the knife I used to use is one I have had for the past ten years - ever since I first started cooking. I haven’t sharpened it EVER! I TOLD you I was terrible in the kitchen, so stop your tut-tutting right now. OK where was I? Yes, my old knife. I held on to it as though it was better than my best friend! I could try chopping off my fingers and it would do a poor job. Oh yeah, it drew blood, mine of course, many-a-times in its early days but not anymore.
Whenever Manu used a different knife for his cooking, complaining about mine, I thought he was going overboard. Well, he is the better cook in our family but my knife couldn’t be all that bad, so ran my thinking! A’ right I admit, silly and foolish it was, because I LOVVVE this new knife. I find a reason to use it…magical is how I consider its power. Thank goodness Manu decided to buy it. Yeah it was his idea to begin with. I better confess or he will give me no peace. :)
BTW I still HATE cooking, no magic in the world could change that...!
Vices & Live Cams
Good evening folks, how was your weekend? The weather played us. The prediction was supposed to be ‘rainy all weekend’ but there was not a single droplet in sight. Suited me perfect, I have had enough of gloomy weather. Not that winter was bad this time round. Manu managed a little yard work and we did some long pending purchases, in other words, managed to blow some money away. But hey, nothing makes me more cheery than good old shopping, my only vice!
What else is happening in your world today? Hope you are enjoying the terrific climate. Meera started a new daycare this week and they've a live cam at her daycare where parents could monitor children through out the day. Guess what I have been doing today? Yep, that's right. I was glued to the online camera watching Meera's antics. She was a little whiny but adjusted well it seems. Whew, half my worry solved. Hopefully she will continue to adjust.
That’s it really from my end, have a wonderful week ahead. :)
Bitty Bites
Seems like my posts have been about Meera all week long, so why not end the week with one huh? We got some plastic cutlery for Meera from IKEA the other day and lately I have been teaching Meera to hold a knife properly to cut her food into eatable bites. I have to say she is catching on quickly. It’s funny, I never learnt to use cutlery properly until I was twenty one or twenty two. It was good old fingers back home in Trivandrum.
Growing up here, Meera gets to familiarize the Western etiquette faster than when I was little. Though I have to say there’s nothing more pleasurable than eating a Sadhya with bare hands and then licking my fingers afterward. Now you know my last secret, to hell with etiquette! Oops sorry, didn’t mean to curse.
Hope your week has been as uneventful as mine, less stressful and readying for two days of bliss ahead. Well, it is supposed to be raining in my world, so I shouldn’t exactly use the word bliss, but hey, rain or no rain, being home with family is always enjoyable, right?
Happy weekend folks, be good, see you Monday.
Two minutes
She is two and a half, only two and a half. But she wants to do everything independently. "Amma, two minutes", she says. Guess where she got that from? Me of course! I wonder if she knows the meaning of two minutes. But when she wants to brush her teeth or go to the potty or play in the tub before bath, she shouts “Amma, two minutes” and off she goes to begin her mischief. I just sneak behind her and silently watch- just so she wouldn't mess up my home. If she catches me, she shrieks “Amma, no, Meera do it”! Oh Lordy, she is only two! I am dreading her teens already!
Picky
Meera was the size of Manu’s palm at birth, now she is half my height. She grows taller and slimmer as each day goes by, skinny to the bone. I wish she would eat some more. Meera seems to be curious about everything on the surface of the earth except food. I often wonder where she gets all her energy from! Many-a-times I wonder if she lives on air. I call her a fussy eater and then I meet another toddler who eats much less compared to Meera. So maybe she is not the picky one, I am probably the fussy parent who expects miracles from one so young!
Parent Woes
Now that the weather has turned better, our days are spend more outdoors than indoors. Meera loves company, be it other kids or adults. I guess she gets tired of seeing our face day in and day out. A very sociable person that she is, she can be friendly to anyone and everyone. Yes, it takes a little time for her to settle amongst strangers, esp. when there’s a crowd full of them. But unlike many other kids, she blends in quickly.
She can charm and woo easily, I consider it both good and bad. Good in the sense that she gets adjusted to new environments quickly, bad because the world isn’t such a trustable kid-friendly place always. It is better to not draw attention to one self these days. She needs to be taught to stay away from strangers. How do you teach a kid the difference between good and bad at such a young age?
Turn on the television and some of the newscasts I hear scares me to death. I just want to go back to Stone Age and protect my child from all sorts of harm. Do you realize where I am going with this? At times being a parent is such a mind-boggling challenge! It is definitely one of the most rewarding experiences in life, but one full of minefields too.
PS: Two more days for the Poetry challenge, I did a count and I have managed thirty pieces already, but will see if I can get two more in, just for the heck of it. But it was a wonderful experience in that I feel I have improved quite a bit myself. And it is always fun to play.
Dip-Dip-Dip
These days Manu gets his tea without fail, since Meera remembers to make tea. She loves to make tea for ‘Acha’! And she knows the whole procedure for the dip-dip-dip variety. She helps me with the teabags and the milk. She does the final stirring. And voilà! The tea is ready to be served. Milky sweet just the way ‘Acha’ wants it! Thank God for Meera, bet Manu can’t repeat that enough.
Back Again
I am back at last! I know, it is the end of the week, but I am free for the first time in several weeks and to be honest I feel lost. Oh yes, I could use this break.
These past few weeks have taken its toll, I am quite looking forward to having some time for myself. I am not yet sure what I will do, but there are a million chores that have been put off for too long. I hope to get to some of it at least.
As usual, spring cleaning is my first priority. Hope to get that out of the way soon. Have a wonderful weekend; if I have the time I will try and write in over the weekend, else I will catch you on Monday. Be safe.
Silly Philosophy
Rest in plenty seems so very close for me now. I could almost reach and grasp it in my palm. Not yet though, not yet. Time seems so unreachable when you know its coming but you still have to wait. When I know I have to wait. I am at a point where I could just skip days and embrace sanity. I talk silly when I don't sleep at ten in the night, yes, I do feel very insane at the moment. It is way past my bed time. Yet here I am typing away, nonsense. I could use some laughter, any sardarji jokes to share? :)
Broken
I know, I promised to be back this week but looks like I promised too much. When you sink low like the way I have done, neck and head, after a certain point you forget the depth to which you sank and every calculation from that point would be a guestimate which could go either way. Last week's prediction went the wrong way. I am barely managing to put stuff out for my other blog, not long to go before the month ends, so hope to complete the National Poetry Month without flunking in the last minute...hope you are all well, I will be by to visit you soon. Till then, stay safe, be good.
On impulse
picked the phone, on impulse
dialed the number, on impulse
greeted her hello, on impulse
poured my heart, on impulse
i did the right thing, on impulse.
i felt lighter, happier all at once.
*****
This is for a friend who listened to all my woes, no matter how silly they were with an open heart and then gave me sensible advice. In turn, we just got to chat and catch up after a long long time. Impulsive actions don't always go wrong, in my case it was the best thing I ever did.
Curious Chimp
Meera's favorite book these days is
Curious George. It is the tale of a little chimp and all his adventures. I love reading it to her and she loves George's tales. He gets into everything, everywhere. Just as she does! Non-stop activity is the little monkey's trademark; no wonder Meera likes him so much. She is the human replica of Curious George. Adorable little chimp that she is, I admit she tries my patience to the limits!
Feeling Shy
Appearances can be deceptive, can’t they? An interesting conversation came up yesterday between me and some of my neighborhood friends. We were talking about this and that and somehow the conversation turned to personalities. Who is outright? Who is outgoing? That person is quiet; this person is rude such and such, if you get my drift. But what interested me is my own admission that I am a very shy person. There, I said it. I can’t believe I did, but it is the honest truth. Deep within, I am very shy. But to my surprise, my friends exclaimed that they would never consider me shy. That set my thoughts rolling. What exactly does shyness entail? I don’t even know the exact reason why I call myself shy. I am reserved and it is very difficult for me to let go and just be. I am constantly on guard, at times I feel like I have this irremovable mask on. Now couldn’t that be classified as a form of shyness? I don't know, now I am totally confused.
Happy Vishu
To all of you who visit me here, I wish you a wonderful New Year/ a beautiful
Vishu. Please follow the
link for a poem that came to me on the eve of Vishu, I will be back with more details as soon as I can. Have a wonderful week ahead.
Love Loads,
UL
Hello & Goodbye
Happy weekend, Everyone. As usual I am late today, but wanted to say hello and ask all visitors to stop over to read my
poem attempt for today, one I wrote for a cause. I wish to get this out to as many people as possible. Hence this message here. Happy weekend, be safe.
Follow this
link for the specific piece I would like you to see.
Apologies
i apologize,
that's no excuse
yes, i know.
but i am head deep
is all i can reveal
so bare with me
is my poor appeal.
*****
I am barely making a poem-a-day at my other blog, the truth is I have no time, none to speak of. And that seems to be the case almost till mid-week next week. I am not promising a post-a-day here at this point, not until the end of next week, but there's bound to be one at my other blog if I dont kill myself before then, so dont forget to stop over. Also if you are bored, check out the archives on the sidebar or one of the others under Family and Friends. But do come back, I will be blogging without obligation(BWO) until the end of next week. I will be back full-time starting the following week, that I promise.
Nonsense Scribble.
I got busy.
I got tired.
My muse decided to quit.
So stop I did, just for the day.
See you in the morn.
See you on the morrow.
Thank you.
Adoption
Adoption stories always fascinate me, but I never got to hear so many interesting ones until I got to this part of the world. When I was growing up, it was very rarely heard of and often frowned upon. I used to wonder why back then, and still cannot figure it out. Does a kid need to be part of one’s bloodline to be considered one’s own? I don’t think so. Blood betrays! Blood ties needn’t always be strong, need it? Then why is there this hesitation?
Years ago I was friends with an Italian girl Anna who used to talk about her adopted daughter in India. She used to show me pictures of the little girl from Tamilnadu whom she was going to be united with soon. At the time, she was on a mission to earn enough to support both of them. Then she was going to go out to India and take back the girl to Florence, her home in Italy. I lost touch with her since then, but I hope all her dreams came true.
Her selfless act amazed me then, but over the years I have heard several sweet stories of adoption. The one I heard on the radio this evening touched me and lured me enough to make this post. I wanted to remember this story. There’s no other way than to write it down, is there?
A mother called in with this song request for her daughter Mica, see I even remember the name, whom she had given up for adoption eighteen years ago. Let’s call the mother Dee, as I forget her real name. So Dee goes “ I was only twenty one when I gave up my child, me and my boyfriend, the father of the child couldn’t afford to keep her and we wanted her to receive the very best, hence the adoption." Uh I need to stop this narration and mention my thoughts “How could any mother just give up a child? Beats me” OK, back to Dee and her story ‘Since then we got married and we have three sons of our own.'At this point the anchor interrupts and asks Dee “Wait a minute, so you married the father of the baby you conceived and have three boys of your own?” Dee agrees and continue with her story “Mica contacts me after eighteen years and we are on the phone for over three hours, then we decide to meet up. She visits us and is delighted to meet three siblings, her own biologically, and we are amazed to see her. ‘‘What a happy family reunion after eighteen years!’ the anchor goes. Dee continues ‘ I know, lots happening, there’s more good news, last Friday Mica got wed, we met her parents who adopted her, thet’re lovely AND we are also expecting our first grandchild’ Ok, Ok another break for my thoughts. Wow, isn’t that amazing? She not only gets her daughter back, but she comes married with baby-on-the way. Dee sounds over the moon, so she should be. She dedicated a song for her daughter and all the new members of the family she adopted as her own…and she requested the perfect song.
***********
‘You will be in my heart’ by Phil Collins Here is the
lyrics.
**************
Weekend Post
I rarely get in a post on weekends. I get so busy, but this weekend I HAD to get on to post on my
other blog, so I thought to myself, why not? I should say hello to those of you who visit me over the weekends. So here I am. Hello, how are you? How is your weekend coming along?
At my end it was pretty hectic, we had overnight guests. So I was cooking and cleaning to bring order into my chaotic lifestyle and make my home look presentable. It was lovely to see Mun Chettan, my cousin and Jaykrishnan, his cousin. Meera was delighted as always, she loves people. She did ask after her cousins and couldn't figure why 'their Dad' would visit alone. She has yet to understand distance and countries. It will come, I am sure.
Now the house is quiet again with all the visitors gone. Dinner is done, Meera is asleep and I am typing away to glory. I miss the people, the loudness and the guests. Growing up at my grandma's most of my life I longed for privacy, we always had visitors. Never imagined I would miss the chaos and loud conversations this much, years later, when I had all the privacy I ever needed.
I have said this before, but I could repeat myself a thousand times, "Grass is always greener on the other side!"
zzzz
as midnight strikes
i scratch my head
and think up some-
words evade me, i nod off,
voice in my head asks,
'what shall i serve
as after thoughts?'
*****
Happy weekend, Everyone. Since I am on poem-a-day, you are likely to see more of me this weekend. Be safe.
Shhh.
i have a secret, one i can not divulge,
it haunts me daily, deep in my gut
i am tempted to let go without a care
tell me, dearies, how best to keep shut?
i have a secret, one i long to share
truth says not yet, inspite the but.
April is National Poetry Month here in the US and Canada. Many poetry sites encourage a-poem-a-day concept and I decided to take up the challenge for the first time ever. The fact that I am only three days into the game is a little scary, but so far I am having fun. I haven't enjoyed myself so much in a long long time. I intend to pursue the same while it lasts...step over to my
Typing Away blog to catch my daily contributions. Don't forget to drop me your comments.
and oh btw, that wasn't the secret. :)
Here I am.
I am here, yes, I am still here. I took a day off to spend home with Meera. She caught a bout of cold and fever yet again, yes. How so, you ask? A week at the daycare, I answer. Yep, she goes to daycare for five days, she falls ill on the sixth. I can almost predict it, without fail this has been the scenario most winter. My successful prediction doesn’t make it feel better.
Pretty common, her pediatrician keeps assuring us. It builds immunity, he says, doesn't stop the suffering, and it definitely doesn't stop us from worrying. Why? What can I do to prevent it? How? And more questions keeps popping in my head. My latest thought, 'It must be the school'.
Well, let's give you folks a break, how many times have you heard of me moaning about Meera? She is much better btw, her fever came down yesterday and today she was just sniffing every now and then. We enjoyed some exclusive mother-daughter moments and I feel relaxed. Meera goes back to the daycare tomorrow and I go back to work.
Sorry folks didn't mean to bore you with such details but hey, now I have it off my chest and on to yours, I feel much better. :) Promise to be back with exciting news on the morrow. Until then, goodnight!
Goodbye
Sad times,
move on we must-
for life never stops,
only circles.
Farewell to you,
as this journey ends-
let peace find you,
till we meet again.
****
Death is stark, isn’t it? No matter how much one expects the inevitable an untimely death gets the last word, doesn’t it? The news that greeted me this morning was sad and unexpected. My grandma’s brother, on my Dad’s side of the family passed away last evening. Achan, my father updated me with the details. I knew he was hurting. The last tie with his mom, my grandma was finally severed. For once, I didn’t know what to say. I was speechless.
Achan, my Dad lost his mom at a very young age, my mom never got to meet her mother-in-law, and we have only heard of our grandma and caught her black and white photographs. For the same reason Achan was close to his mom’s siblings, as were we.
Kuttimaman as we called him was one beautiful soul. His long moustache that curled at the ends was his trademark. It sure gave him a daunting air, only that he wouldn’t hurt a fly. Kindness personified, my memories of him are full of laughter and wordplay. He was passionate about life and enthusiasm oozed out of his every living cell. And that's how I will remember him, always.
Recently his grand daughter moved to Philly, a few miles away from where we live and we have been hearing more about him as a result. He was doing great until a viral fever teamed up with old age brought bad tidings. A very unfortunate and sad demise, may his soul rest in peace.
****
Home
Home is where the heart is. My heart is with people I love, relationships I have forged over the years and the cultures I have learnt and accepted as my own. Moving around so much I have left a little of myself along the way in many places, each one I would like to revisit and re-experience. I am not sure if I could ever settle down in one place forever and call it my home. I am too restless for that.
India defines my roots. I was born and raised there. The Hindu culture and philosophy I live by, day in and day out, came from India. The family who taught me such a fine principle to ‘live life’ still lives in India. A piece of my heart will always be with them. But the person I am today is much more than what I was when I lived in India. I learnt independence, responsibility and taking control of my destiny when I first moved outside India. I made friends who became dearer than family, ones to last lifetimes in Europe and Canada. I learnt cultures that are unique and distinct, ones that taught me plenty. Each one gets a place in my heart like no other.
Finally I made a conscious decision with my husband to settle down in Philadelphia and raise a family here. Our daughter was born here in Philly and thus I have created long lasting ties with this place. I am not sure where I will be in the next year or so. I might still be here, or I would have moved on. If I did, a piece of me would be left behind for sure. But my point is this, I may move back to places I have lived once before, I may not. I will consider myself fortunate if I do. But my heart carries the memories, good or bad and would consider each one my home, because home is where the heart is. In a way, I carry my home with me where ever I go. I would hate to leave my heart behind, wouldn't you?
This
post I found at Laksh's space triggered these thoughts. I started to comment and then it seemed to take up too much room, so decided to move it here. Thanks Laksh, for the trigger, will take up your doc trigger one of these days.
Friday Fever.
i returned on sunday
got trashed on monday
felt pained on tuesday
then sobered on wednesday
got rewarded on thursday
and welcomed friday
look forward to saturday
come full circle sunday.
I am not sure if I am capable of anything more than kid’s poetry today. Even kids write better, I should know! But this past week has been extreme opposites and to be honest I thought it was only Thursday today, I had totally forgotten Monday. My life skipped over Monday it seems. But when I look back at my notes, I notice the entry for Monday. How on earth did I manage that one? God knows.
Our lives are back on track, Meera is settling into the school environment and at home she doesn’t ask for her grandparents as often as she used to. She still misses them, and so do I. But we have learnt to move on. I am looking forward to the weekend quite a bit. I know it will be busy as there is a bunch of house chores to be completed. But hey, I am back on solid ground and life is moving, actually chugging along quite merrily. What more could I ask for, huh?
You folks have a good weekend, see you Monday.
Spring Trophy
“Nice Matters Award is for those bloggers who are nice people; good blog friends and those who inspire good feelings and inspiration. Also for those who are a positive influence on our blogging world.”*****
This morning I was greeted with the above mentioned bouquet from
Akay and
Laksh for this blog of mine and the thoughtful gesture truly blew me away. Thanks to both of you for this award, I am deeply honored and totally lost for words.
Now it’s my turn to give away these awards, and I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who stop by on a daily basis and leave your mark from time to time. You are truly my inspiration and I am so glad for this virtual relationship we share electronically. Please take a moment to check out the following list of family and friends, who has hosted their personal world on cyber space, each one truly deserves an award and I would like to pass this onto them. All of them have encouraged and inspired me in their own ways. They’re listed in the order in which I first came across their space:
Reluctant ChefBalaAkayAnamikaSNThis very list is also part of my sidebar permanently, so whenever you visit please make sure you stop by at these locations too. You will be better for having spend some wonderful time getting to know these people and reading their thoughts.
There’s yet another list who deserve this award and those would be the readers who don’t necessarily own a blog of their own but are a great inspiration through the comments they leave here or via email to me direct. Hope you won’t mind if I take your names here. They include my mom, my Vallyamma, my siblings and cousins, Shy, Manju, Lakshmi(Nandini’s mom), Anila and Kay. I am also grateful for all the other readers who don’t always leave a mark but keep me going by visiting constantly. Thanks to all of you.
My Sweet Tooth
sweet and crunchy
melt-in-your-mouth variety
baklava for the weary
As I was reading ‘
Mulberry Street’ to Meera last evening, Manu walked in with a twinkle in his eye. He carried a transparent box that contained one of my favorite desserts,
baklava. I began to drool at the very sight of the pair cozily sitting side-by-side within the container. “Fancy a bite?” he knew I couldn’t resist. So we had a quick tête-à-tête with the little box in between us and Meera spying from time to time. She snorted and walked around after the first bite as she couldn’t figure out why her mother was oohing and ahhing so much. Needless to say the bite turned into several until we cleared the box of its contents.
Believe it or not, the experience cheered me up, thanks to Manu. He always knows just what to do to raise my spirits. I was feeling sorry for myself and sunk in self-pity most of yesterday. Want a reason? PMS obviously! Didn’t you guess? Nope it wasn’t because I waved goodbye to family recently, though I admit, I did a good job of convincing myself that was the reason for my mood swings. Apparently not! PMS turned out to be the culprit. I was feeling sad, guilty and depressed all at once. Most annoying, I tell you. Anyway, back to Baklava.
I was first introduced to it by a friend who took me to an ethnic Turkish restaurant in Toronto where I tried their unique cuisine. It is very similar to Greek food with their
souvlakis and
kebabs, yet distinct in a mouth-watering sort of way. The Baklava I had then was rich and heavenly. That was over seven years now. Since then I have had my share of baklavas but yesterday’s brought back lots of memories and lightened my mood plenty.
Aint it easy to cheer me up? Just pamper my sweet tooth and I am a goner. :)
Thanks to Manu for the delicious Baklava.
Guilt
Today is Meera’s first day back to school full-time. We kept her in yesterday so she could recover from the road trip. She slept in and then kept busy playing with some of her new toys. I took the afternoon off so I could spend time with her. Manu had to get into work anyway, and it worked out pretty well. This morning I am sunk in guilt for being a working mom. There’s always this tug of war within me to quit my job and be a full-time mom. But I simply cannot do it, I would be miserable not working. I feel very selfish sometimes. Meera probably needs me the most at this age and there I am sending her to a school so I could earn some bucks on the side. Yet, I am not sure I will survive being a full-time mom. And so the internal battle continues…to be or not to be!
I am back.
All good things must come to an end. Or we wouldn't enjoy them as much, would we? Three weeks with my parents flew by so quick. I miss them, I miss them so much. Looks like Meera does too. Got back from the roadtrip to Toronto late last night, two days came and went pretty fast. The extended family reunion on the occasion of my Vallyachan's seventieth turned fantastic. Meera met with cousins of her age and as usual got pampered by the rest of the family. It was very difficult to bid adieu and drive away with all the family waving goodbyes. I didn't want to leave. Too tired to write any more. I am back physically, but my heart as always is with family. Goodnight, may be my mood will get better come tomorrow. Happy week, folks.
Superstition
My right eye has been twitching these last few days. It is both annoying and embarrassing. It occurs when I am talking to a colleague and then my thought process bounce off in a tangent, totally different from the conversation that we are having and I wonder if he thought I was winking from time to time. Back home superstition predict ‘right- eye- twitching’ a bad omen for women. Bull s#$$! No, I do not believe such rubbish. Wait, don’t get me wrong. I LOVE to read and listen to such myths.
Ramayana has so many narrations where this is mentioned, I love such tales. But I am usually the kind who practices the good and trashes the bad. But this twitching has been killing me. How do I get it to stop?
Happy long weekend, everyone. And for those of you who celebrate Easter, have a wonderful fest. As for me, I will be out of town over the next couple of days. I may not be able to stop by to greet you folks. I will be back on Sunday, so I hope to see everyone on Monday. I bid you farewell for now.
Sleepy Noon
i am no sculptor, i am no artist
i prefer structure, I prefer constant,
words mess up my ordered thought
throws discipline down in naught
images blossom as if by magic
events appear not chronologic
internal voices come to my aid
imagination decides to parade
on this bleak afternoon
as i try not to swoon.
****
My work has been really slow this past week. I find myself with too much spare time in my hands. There’s a tonne to be done but awaiting formalities like approvals and meetings has put me on hold. I long to take time off and go home to my parents! Not long before their departure and I wish I could spend more time with them. One more hour to go before take off, one more hour! Seems like eons at the moment. Let me go and bug someone else besides you. Hope Wednesday is coming along nicely for you.
Cheap Labor
Meera spend a whole day with Achan and Amma yesterday. Both Manu and I had to get into work and my parents agreed to baby-sit. I was apprehensive, to tell you the truth. No, not for Meera but for my parents, after all they are here for a short break. To run around with a toddler esp. one as active as Meera is no light task. I wanted them to rest and relax while they were here, not work away taking care of Meera. Sure, they got to spend some quality time with Meera. In fact the three of them had a wonderful day yesterday. But she kept them on their toes. And they looked tired when I got back from work yesterday. It sure made me feel guilty.
I often wonder how people bring parents over to look after kids or send kids over to live with grandparents for a few months. I know of many people who send their young ones to India to live with grandparents, so they could lead a happy life here. And I abhor the idea. I have great pity for such grandparents. It is a’ right if the children are independent and responsible for themselves, something which comes naturally once they turn five or six. But young kids between one and five or younger takes up so much effort that I don’t think grandparents should have to deal with caring for them day in and day out.
It is a different story if we as parents are around to help out. But leaving them on their own for days and months is like hiring a nanny without pay! And to me, no grandparent should go through that. I couldn’t ask that of my parents. They raised me, now it’s my turn to take care of them not work them. I think it is a plain irresponsible act on the part of parents who wants the best of both worlds. What do you think?
Fun Green
For the first time since Meera’s birth, Manu and I took up an invitation for a ‘no-kids’ affair at our neighbor’s place on Saturday night. It was a
Saint Paddy’s do with just adults. I had forgotten such things existed, so had many others it seems. ‘Quite a refreshing break’ was the common phrase used. Most of our kids are around the same age as Meera and toddlers have a mind of their own. And it is impossible as parents to do anything else. The kids require all our attention. So even though we hesitated to arrange baby sitters when Nancy the hostess, first suggested the party, it turned the most perfect gathering I have attended in a very long time. Thanks to Nancy and Greg, they were such perfect hosts, the party was fabulous!
I have to admit that having Achan and Amma here helped. I doubt if we could have done it without them. We are so used to having Meera with us that it did take some getting used to. I picked up the cell a few times to call home and check on Meera but refrained in the last second. Since Meera had fallen asleep right before we left, I didn’t want to wake her up by calling in. Plus my parents had our cell numbers and promised to call if they needed help. Mind you, we were just across the road from our place, not like across the globe or any such thing. The very thought helped to let go of my inhibitions and I found myself having a wonderful time. There were finger-foods and drinks, lots of fun and laughter. They even built a fire outside their patio which made the party cozy and nice. I have to mention the
apple martini that I loved so much. I haven't had such a good one in a very long time. Mmm, delicious! :)
Walking back home hand-in-hand with Manu close to midnight, under a clear sky spotting stars, I felt happy and merry. Maybe just a little tipsy! :)
*****
Happy St Paddy’s to those of you who do celebrate, and to those like me who are willing to celebrate anything and everything at the drop of a hat. :) Hope you are wearing your favorite green like I am. :)
Enjoy the week ahead, happy Monday to you all. :)
Drunk Green
drunk and tipsy
I feel merry,
oh what a party!
Laksh at Musings once again presented me with an award, what a great honor. I am so pleased to hear her say that my space “encourages group communication and serve as a hang out place"! Thank you, Laksh.
